I remember it like it was yesterday, sitting on the back steps of my semi-detached home in downtown Toronto after leaving work to pick up a sick baby from daycare again. I was completely done, spent, and simply unable to hold it all together any longer. I literally had nothing left in me, I was so physically and emotionally depleted after having 3 pregnancies and 2 children in less than 2 years, returning to full time work with a new, better paying job to afford child care (which came with way more drama, politics and time commitments than anticipated), and two beautiful baby boys with health issues, where every single minute, of every single day the worry was so real, profound and unshakable. So much so that every time my phone would ring I would go through the roof with anxiety, praying that it was all just a dream and that this time I would not have to jump in an ambulance to get my kid to emerg.
I thought I was coping and dealing with all that life had thrown at me, but really I was just pushing it deep down, ingesting toxic emotions, environments, food, beverages, behaviours, all the while pretending to be okay, having my s**t together, and thinking to myself, this is normal, this is what life is supposed to be like after having kids. All moms are suffering, so suck it up buttercup. I continued putting up deeper, denser walls all around me, creating a façade, then suppressing all the real emotions and / or feelings, becoming increasingly disconnected from my world and myself. And this was unfortunately not a new pattern for me, as it was something that I had experienced over and over again for many years of my life, really dating all the way back to my childhood. Except this time was different, it was not just me in the picture any longer. My resiliency and stamina could not hold all of this, it was too much, for far too long. I was caving in and I had two beautiful babies who were relying on me for everything.
And so my journey began to do the work to recover the union within myself. Which in my case began on my yoga mat, because at the time, my mat was the one place in my life where I noticed I did feel centered, at ease and embraced by such an immense sense of peace. So I followed this and started paying attention and listening. And quickly began to realize . . .
Yoga is pure magic! The more I learn about it, do the work, surrender fully and really commit to the daily practice, the more I continue to cultivate such unwavering, immense love within the depths of my being and am unveiling a true, pure connection to a life far greater than I could have every imagined. This all started with me learning how to prioritize myself, slow down, tap inward, love myself more than anyone else and connect my deep belly breath to my mind, body and spirit. Then from there, over time, things drastically began to shift. So simple, but not easy. But with commitment, daily rituals, my practice and great teachers, I now show up for my one precious life, ride the waves on my terms and am the kind of parent I have dreamt of being to the two most deserving, beautiful, healthy, spirited, loving boys you will ever meet.
And I am beyond grateful that I now have the pleasure to serve others who are looking to yoga as a way to slow down, fill up, heal and connect deeper. My latest offering to my community is a beautiful restorative class, infused with essential oils called union recovery. I hope you will join me for this deep healing practice, where you will be completely supported by many props and myself, be given the time and space to invite each pose in, completely let go, and surrender fully from your hectic life. From the moment you wander into the studio, the scent of the essential oils will transform the space into a sea of tranquility. The energy will be soft, quiet, and gentle. The simple application of the essential oils, which are pure, therapeutic grade oils derived naturally from plants, will be grounding, cleansing and purifying. Any accumulated tension and stress will begin to slowly release and dissipate. I truly hope you can gift yourself and/or a loved one this blissful experience to reconnect, renew and recover to this beautiful, precious life.
Namaste,
Kerry
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