INTRODUCTION TO TAMING THE SELF-CRITIC
We all have an inner critic, of course, but some of us carry a loud and mean self-critic.
Are you ready to relate to it differently?
I know I have carried a nasty self-critic for years and have worked hard, with lots of help, to tame it.
And I’ve also worked as a coach and counselor with many women and men who have wrestled with their own inner critic.
Using my own lived experience, guided by what others have taught me and drawing on the brilliance and wisdom of researchers and academics, I have created five steps to tame your self-critic.
If you struggle with an inner critic, these steps will guide you to healing.
First, let’s define the self-critic. What is it?
The self-critic is a judgmental, negative voice toward self or others originally created to protect you from abuse, bullying or other negative experiences. It comes from not feeling safe. It’s an aspect of yourself that lives in fear and shame and is triggered by internal or external events that are seen as threatening.
So when we don’t feel good enough, we judge ourselves or others harshly. That’s the starting point.
Take the opportunity to begin to notice for yourself: how often do I judge someone else or myself?
So I have developed these five powerful and simple steps over years to guide you to taming your self-critic and living with more joy and ease.
- Awareness of your self-critic
- Exploring foundational beliefs
- What does your self-critic want?
- Create space using mindfulness
- Cultivate radical self-compassion
We become more familiar when self-critic comes out to judge. Then we find out the beliefs that are underneath the origins of our own self-critic. And we start to engage in dialogue so we become friendly with our self-critic and find out why it exists. We begin to create a sense of spaciousness around the self-critic and not feel as driven by it. And our final step is to build our capacity to radiate self-compassion when the self-critic does emerge. Learning to live from a place of compassion no matter what.
Over the next few blogs, I am going to explore the five steps with you in more detail.
If you wonder how strong your self-critical voice is, go to my website and take the Self-Critical Quiz (susancoach.ca). I’d be so interested in Let me know what you discover…..
Susan Young is a mindfulness facilitator and professional certified coach guiding people toward their purpose and goals with confidence….firstname.lastname@example.org