I have fallen down to my knees, again, there is fear, tears, judgement, I am scared. I am not good enough, I am not loved, I am alone. But I know I have the answer to resolve, I know now that this fear is from the reliance I have to my own strength. Yet this pattern plays on repeat, over and over, where I fall to my knees, feeling this sense of never having enough strength or stamina to rise up, fully and completely. I can see it, know it is there, but yet it is still at times seemingly so far out of reach. But it is different now, now I choose to stay here m, with these feelings, not pull the covers over my head, escape, or revert to old toxic patterns which bury my light. I will feel, surrender, release, take it slow, one breath at a time. As I can sense my pure, simple radiance cracking open, which I have been seeking unknowingly all along.
It is this beautiful inner radiance that will raise me up off my knees.
So I will continue the greatest project of my life, working on myself, unveiling and shedding, layer by layer, so that my radiance will shine. Shine so bright, unapologetic, loving and pure, that it will lift me up, guide me to heal, so I show up fully, live on purpose and serve in great ways. The simplest of things, as it is within all of us, but such an elusive pursuit. However, I am in it, fully, deeply, so committed to this great work, there is no turning back, as I have begun to crack open, being witness to my radiance, as my gift, my love, my service, to my self, my family, my world.