I’ve noticed a pattern in my world and I want to share what I’m seeing. I also want to share my experience around being in this pattern myself, and what happened as a result of being in this behaviour.
I have a pattern of being busy. Really busy. Busy to the point of getting overwhelmed and then having to retreat or wanting to run away or escape.
I practice Ayurveda and Yoga as a way of staying grounded, maintaining my health, and moving forward in my life with ease and in a way that contributes to the universe (or so I hope).
When I practice with a teacher, things get better, they flow, and I become. The longer I work with Siobhan (my primary teacher), the better and more interesting all of life is. She helps me see the things I do that increase my own pain and suffering, and honestly invites me to reconsider who I’m being to help me become someone who suffers less and contributes more. No matter how much I practice it is so hard to see these things for myself. However, once it’s pointed out to me, then I start to see it everywhere – hence this blog post.
At the beginning of the summer I had been working with Siobhan regularly for many months again and everything was going really well. For some reason, in my infinite wisdom (insert UBER SARCASTIC VOICE HERE), I stopped my work with Siobhan because I was going to be “too busy”, and things were going really well… so I can stop practicing… right?
Wrong. By October I was a mess. Life got really challenging (my grandma passed away, Ayurveda school ended (one of my other supports), and I got dumped by someone I considered a close friend), and I fell apart. Everything felt really hard and struggly again.
This begs the question: Why is it that when things were going well I removed the supports that allowed me to thrive and succeed? How on earth did I expect to continue thriving when I was cutting off the water supply to my roots (practice, teacher, community)?
Once this was pointed out to me, then I started seeing it everywhere! I’m too busy to practice…. I’m healed and I don’t need to do my self-care anymore… I know what I’m doing so I don’t need a teacher… It has been fascinating to observe.
I share this not to be judgy or a jerk, but hoping that in case someone has the same pattern I do (cutting off my support when things are good), maybe this story will be helpful. Until someone pointed it out to me, I wasn’t able to see how I was my own biggest obstacle.
Is this one of your patterns? What does yours look like? And what happens when you do it? Please, leave a comment below.
with peace & love,